A Lifetime in Mourning? When- and How-to Move Forward.
What is life, when the life you live is no longer the one you once imagined? What is life to an only child; without your Mother… your Father? In my case, it’s the absence of both.
After losing my paternal grandmother a month after giving birth (I went into labor the night she was diagnosed with Leukemia Lymphoma) to my first son, my own mother succumbed to Sarcoidosis six months later. My father, again to Cancer (Leukemia Lymphoma); seven months to the date after my mother, and a week after his birthday.
If it weren’t for my faith, I cannot tell you where I’d be. If it weren’t for God placing my beautiful son in my life at just the right time, I’d have no vision towards legacy building.
As an ex-caregiver while “entrepreneuring,” I lean on the idea of starting “my” life and now living out “my” purpose, and find reassurance through the perserveance of other like-minded women.
While, I don’t have the answers or the courage to “move on;” I share with you comforting words of wisdom from two experts within their own right. I look forward to their uplifting words and outlook for the day; as I pour myself into my work at MontagePR.
I stay positive and uplifted through PRAYER and FAITH. Without these two things, I honestly would be lost. It is honestly not something you have to find because everything that you need, is right inside of you. Remember your WHY and that will definitely keep you going. We only look back to see how far we have come.
Stay strong, surround yourself with positive people, write doen your emotions, and also remember yourself. We can easily get lost in everything that is going on in today’s time that we simply forget about ourselves. Grieving is not something that should be taken lightly but it is also something that you can get through. Even while grieving, you have to stay hopeful.
Kinyatta E. Gray
I’m not going to sugarcoat this, it’s not easy to stay positive everyday. However, I am energized by completing many of the things in life that my mother never did but wanted to do such as becoming a published author. I’m able to stay positive because when my mother was alive she affirmed me and believed in me more than anyone else and I have two children whom I must now affirm and believe in and I can’t do that if I’m not functioning at my highest self. Also, God blessed me with an amazing spouse, Julie, who has been my rock and my protector. Many people tried to dissuade me from marrying Julie, and the irony is, when I suddenly lost mom, she was the only one there standing with me. For these reasons and many more, I continue to find reasons to stay positive and uplifted.
Believe that the love that your parents had for you still exists in the atmosphere. The times they may have whispered prayers of protection over your life are still in the universe. When we lose our parents, the greatest thing we fear is the loss of their love, but in time as you learn to navigate in this new space, with them in the spiritual realm, you will once again feel their all encompassing love and warmth. Lastly, don’t abandon their spirit, find ways to honor their legacy, remember the things that made you feel good when you were with your mom and dad and hold those memories close to you. Plant a tree in their honor so that you can nurture it and watch it grow – with this gift in their honor — their roots are firmly planted and from that will grow beautiful memories.