Ladies, we have all been through ruthless, unhealthy or damaging relationships in the past that have left us broken down, worn out, or just upright over it and ready to break away. We, ultimately, realize that if I’m not willing to love myself who’s going to treat and love me the way that I deserve. Typically, nobody likes to talk about their tumultuous relationships and tend to only highlight the good periods of the relationship; which leads to shame, and most times keeping you in a relationship longer than you should. As a sucker for love, myself, I can totally understand how the heart can sometimes get in the way of common sense, wearing your heart on your sleeve and allowing your partner to take advantage of you emotionally or even talking yourself into believing that “you can fix your man."
Authors, Franceska Sparkle and Lady Starr, have experienced it all; you name it, they will most likely have a story and lesson to go along with it. With their new mantra, “Partners, Not Projects” to remind them of their self-worthiness, they created the self-help book “Partner, Not Projects: Red Flags Self Help Book.
“Partners, Not Projects is a self-help book that details the pit-falls of dating the wrong men, and how doing so may negatively impact other aspects of your life. It describes personal, real-life accounts of toxic encounters with men, and teaches you how to avoid them. Partners not Projects strives to arm women with tools to navigate through the chaotic world of dating, and ultimately defines the key to happiness as revolving around choosing the right partner." - Franceska and Lady Starr
Throughout this self-help book, Franceska and Lady Starr break down different characteristics of different men from the “The Con Man," “The Suga-Daddy," “Mr. First," and “The Commitment-Phobic;” all, are characters we have personally encountered or have heard about. They also list some of the traits that go along with these characters, that will make it easier for you to see the red flag waving fiercely; warning us to run girl run! Franceska and Sparkle, each, give us a real-life story to accompany each characteristic, and when I tell you this book will have you snapping your fingers and rolling your eyes, because you know all too well that these stories are speaking right to you. They, even, have you heated all over again over your past “Project”.
“This self-help journal may make you laugh; it may make you cry. It is intended to uplift our fellow sisters. Take solace in knowing that we have been at our lowest, and still came out on top. In reflection, a kind stranger once reminded me to keep smiling even through darkness. After all, pressure makes diamonds." - Franceska and Lady Starr
It’s a new year. It’s time to drop those "Projects" and love on ourselves before we go searching for the amazing "Partner" that we all desire. After we know ourselves and know what we require to be loved, that special someone will be waiting for you. Once you get through this amazing read, Franceska and Starr have provided a workbook that forces you to answer a few questions about your relationship status; such as, if your partner is selfish or "does your partner listen?" After you make it through those questions, it's time to focus on goals for yourself; such as:
What’s your one, three, and five-year goals?
Is your partner a good role model for your children?
Do I have reasonable expectations?
Partners not Projects allows you to reflect on what mistakes you have made; and then, how you can fix it. They do this all without making you feel shameful.
Projects Not Projects is Available on January 11 on Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million and Amazon. In the meantime, follow the movement on instagram @officialpnp_!