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Managing Emotional Healing during the Holidays

Excited for the holiday season, Author and Emotional Coach, Nijiama Smalls understands that the pandemic will highten emotions and has a plan to help us prepare! She says, "Weekly, I will be providing you with some simple tips to help you manage the ebb and flow of emotions during the holidays." Smalls shares her first tip, with us...


Tip #1

Pay Attention to Negative Emotions:

I once had a cousin that I truly despised because of unresolved conflict over an incident that happened years ago. The only time I had to deal with him was during the holidays and that was when the worst of both of us would come out. Every time I would see him, my suppressed anger would rise to the forefront of my heart. I would throw shade and make snide remarks towards him hoping to punish him. I wanted to make sure that he knew hat I had not forgotten the incident.

As you can imagine, this made the family holiday festivities toxic. Eventually, family grew tired of our bickering. After some time, I realized that I had not forgiven him and it was impacting my behavior and preventing myself and family from enjoying the holiday.

Pay close attention to how you feel around family and friends. If you find that negative emotions arise when you see a particular person, hear their name mentioned, or when a specific topic or incident is discussed, you may find there is an unhealed wound that is requiring your attention. It's vital to heal those wounds so we will not turn bitter and destroy the relationships that we value.


It's time to, as Smalls says, "Heal the Black Girl Inside of all Black Women." Take Smalls' journey to healing or continue to read more healing for the week at

Smalls is preparing the release of a daily devotional, The Black Girl's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds. Slated for January 2021 release, it appears we're in for an early treat, as the Guide is available for purchase online at Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Books-A-Million, and Walmart. Smalls says, "This devotional is the next step in our journey of healing. Day by day, we will continue to build our confidence and heal our hurts so that we can live the life that God has intended for us--filled with purpose, peace and love."


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