Fed by Food and Community: The Story of Her Seat's Saved

By Kimberly M. Parris

To me, setting the table for a shared meal has always been about more than just the food; it’s about the communal experience that togetherness creates.

Her Seat’s Saved is what happens when one woman craves that feeling of community – but has no one to share it with, so she creates it herself.

Lisa Jean-Francois has been a content creator for the past 15 years, and if you asked her, she would tell you that creating a dinner series that has a wait list in the thousands was never on her to-do list. Originally from Milton, a southern suburb of Boston, she is the voice behind Consciously Lisa, a parenting blog and podcast centering on what she has coined "conscious parenting techniques", as well as life raising two autistic children with her husband. She has also spent the last two years as a jewelry curator with a specialty line via Preciously Polished, an online accessible luxury jewelry company.

So how does someone with nearly two decades of experience building communities for her various audiences suddenly find herself without one?

Jean-Francois notes that it happened less suddenly, and more gradually.

"Every three to four years, the social media industry shifts,” she tells me, sharing her story while tending to her two children in the background. When the landscape changes, she notes, it often represents a snapshot of how certain creators are seen, and how they interact with the community they’ve cultivated.

In Lisa’s case, it took her from being in the midst of community, to feeling increasingly isolated.

Moving to Boston with her family didn’t help matters, neither online nor in person. “It was starting to feel like an echo chamber”, she continued. “At any given point in time, there were only five-to-six of us who were a part of the Boston scene that I could interact with. No one wants to make it seem like they’re lonely, but there’s a sense of mutual respect and support amongst peers that is a big help; and I was beginning to miss that”.

Jean-Francois began attending more events, hoping to begin to find connection and community. The closest she felt to that goal was at an event hosted by the Boston Globe’s culture columnist Jeneé Osterheldt. Yet she notes even as she enjoyed the event, she felt overwhelmed by trying to connect, to engage. It all actually brought her to tears in real time, a moment which she shared on her Instagram page; the vulnerability of the admission going viral.

In Boston, she shared with me, there tends to be an unwritten culture of being connected with “who’s who” in the area... all of which often leaves her feeling disconnected even still.

It was through this revelation that Her Seat’s Saved was born.

The premise was simple: an intimate group of women professionals, prioritizing Black women, who are 35+ and are introverted, like Jean-Francois notes that she is. No more than eight to ten people. Perhaps they feel like they shrink in the presence of louder personalities, in bigger rooms. Maybe they, too, don’t feel like they have community. Put them together at a beautifully set dinner table with amazing food and drink, great energy, immaculate vibes, and let the connections begin.

Jean-Francois figured she’d start with a small group of eight women and patronize a local Black owned restaurant, doing the proverbial killing of two birds with one stone.

She posted her idea online back in May, and went to bed.

“I came back to over 1000 sign ups for future events”, she noted with an incredulous laugh.

The speed with which it happened still amazes her; but her inaugural event was not without its challenges. Mere days before the first event was scheduled to take place, the restaurant with whom she’d forged a partnership, stopped responding to messages and never provided her with information on how to finalize the entire affair. She wound up having to cancel that event, a moment that sits with her, even all these months later.

The setback didn’t stop her.

Mere weeks later, she secured a new space, and she and her group connected over plates of Mediterranean inspired cuisine, leaving with a gift box that included her curated jewelry collection, and delicious cookies from a local Black woman-owned bakery. More importantly, she notes, everyone left feeling fed by both food and community.

What’s more, members of the community, both in person and online, showed up to support and donate their services, from decor to operations, simply because they, too, saw the value in the event. “It’s the people who are already naturally showing up”, she said, her voice taking on a sense of pride. “I wasn’t sure that this could even be a thing, but now I know that it’s possible for me to fill the room like this; I just need to figure out the how”.

She shared with me that since that first dinner in June, the waiting list to get into the next event had practically tripled in size. It was something that initially overwhelmed her. “I never thought that this is what it’d become”, she said, bemused at the thought.

There’s still an equal sense of pride and overwhelm, you can tell, even as she shares how she is preparing for the next dinner, which was the day after our call. There was excitement underneath it all, though, the next event would be held at Comfort Kitchen, a Black and POC owned, and James Beard award-winning restaurant, with food and drink centering around the African and Asian diasporas, and a values-based mission of cross-cultural understanding and community building, right in alignment with Her Seat’s Saved.

Guests dined on dishes such as Comfort’s extra large seared prawns in an Indian coconut curry with mint cashew crema, and braised greens with caramelized onions and lardon, shared family style as each guest got to know each other. By the end of the night, over sweet treats provided by local bakery Lisa’s Sweet Tooth, each guest felt like they’d found a new family member.

Getting to know the visionary behind Her Seat’s Saved made me realize... that was the whole point.

Creating a dinner for the community that one craves may not be everyone’s solution — but it is definitely one that worked, and is working, for Lisa Jean-Francois. She’s already looking into more restaurant spaces that match the mission of her impromptu dinner party turned series, as well as the atmosphere – grown, feminine, classy, and elevated. The biggest thing for her, aside from community, was that the energy of the space, and the vibe, match the people who will fill it. She tells me as we wrapped up our conversation that healing from a sense of disconnection led her to being a little scared about not knowing, but she decided to do it anyway.

Whether you're local to the Boston area or just visiting, Her Seat’s Saved is a sanctuary for introverted women seeking community-centered love. Be sure to visit Jean-Francois’ website to join the waitlist... upcoming dates are already sold out straight through August.