Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask at Her Next Gynecologist Appointment

I’ve had a gynecologist since high school. For the longest I can remember my ob/gyn visits being under 10 minutes. Even when I’m getting a pap smear. How can a doctor get to know me in less than ten minutes? How can I get comfortable with a doctor in less than ten minutes? Why do I have to undress and expose my vulva for examination with someone I just met less than ten minutes ago? The system is invasive, and it needs to be completely redone. In my own way of remodeling the process, I make sure as a patient to hold the healthcare system accountable to provide the best care.

As a doula, I sit with people in the exam room and outside of it, and I've watched the same thing happen again and again: someone describes real, significant pain, and it gets minimized before it's even fully out of their mouth. These five questions aren't about being difficult with your provider. They're about making sure your voice ends up in your own chart, not just their interpretation of it.

1. "Is what I'm experiencing actually normal, or have I just normalized it?"

Why it matters: So many people are taught to tolerate heavy bleeding, severe cramps, or irregular cycles as just "how their body is." This question opens the door for a provider to actually evaluate symptoms instead of dismissing them. What clarity to seek: A clear answer on what falls within a healthy range for your cycle, and what would warrant further testing.

2. "What would you screen for if I weren't able to describe my pain clearly?"

Why it matters: Black women's pain is documented to be underestimated and undertreated in clinical settings. This question pushes a provider to rely on screening and data, not just their read of how you're presenting. What clarity to seek: What tests, imaging, or bloodwork are available regardless of how "convincing" your symptoms sound.

3. "What does my family and personal history mean for my reproductive health going forward?"

Why it matters: Conditions like fibroids, endometriosis, and PCOS often run in families, and providers may not proactively ask. What clarity to seek: How your history should shape your screening schedule and what early warning signs to watch for.

4. "What are all of my options, not just the first one you'd recommend?"

Why it matters: Patients are often given a single treatment path rather than a full menu of options with trade-offs explained. What clarity to seek: A rundown of every reasonable option, including non-pharmaceutical and non-surgical ones, with the pros and cons of each.

5. "How do you document disagreements between what I'm telling you and what the chart says?"

Why it matters: This is a direct, protective question. It signals to a provider that you're paying attention to how your voice is (or isn't) reflected in your own medical record. What clarity to seek: Confirmation that your reported symptoms are documented in your own words, not just summarized or minimized.

I built my practice around the idea that advocacy is a skill, not a personality trait. You can be soft-spoken and still walk into that appointment prepared. That's the whole point of arming women with language before they ever sit down across from a doctor. I really hope this article helps someone find their voice and power to speak up for themselves. And to speak up for others.

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Chelsea VonChaz is the founder of #HappyPeriod, the first Black-led menstrual health movement in the United States, and a certified full-spectrum doula operating as The Period Doula.