Latia Ashley – Update: The New Blueprint for Dating, Covenant, and Becoming the One

What did Destiny’s Child say? “I’ve given so much in the past, for a love I never had.” Whew… we all love that song because we’ve all had a time when we wanted love so badly that we compromised our values, lowered our standards, and basically became a whole new woman for a relationship we had no business being in to begin with.

And then by the end, Michelle drops the bombest testimony: “Why do I feel so empty? I’m crying out for some stability, destroy my many insecurities… I found a new love… I finally found it in God!”

Now, if that didn’t get you shouting, I don’t know what will.

Latia Ashley—believer, author, speaker, and the bridge between culture and Christ—is helping women become ready for love without the pressures of societal norms, while keeping faith at the forefront when dating intentionally.

Women for the Culture sat down with Latia for a Q&A about her #1 Amazon book Update: The New Blueprint for Dating Covenant and Becoming the One. We talked about why it was written out of conversations with God, what true healing looks like, and how to navigate dating in today’s culture with purpose and alignment.

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Q&A

1. What inspired you to write UpDate, and why now?

UpDate was born out of quiet moments with God where I had to face the truth about myself. I’d been asked over and over, “Why are you still single?”—especially when I’d had what looked like great options and even “the ideal guy” who wanted to marry me. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t fully ready for the weight 

Why now? Because so many people are craving more than just dating tips—they’re longing for healing, clarity, and a blueprint that actually works in real life.

2. How has your background in the entertainment industry shaped your perspective on love, dating, and covenant relationships?

Being backstage taught me that everything that glitters ain’t a covenant. Fame has a way of dressing up dysfunction. I’ve seen contracts with more honor than some relationships. In a world that celebrates clout over character, I learned how sacred covenant is and how rare real love is when your image gets more attention than your spirit.

ABOUT THE BOOK

3. What does “becoming ready” look like in practice?

It looks like unfollowing your trauma responses before you follow someone on Instagram. Becoming ready means becoming whole, learning how to apologize, honoring boundaries, and healing your perspective on love so you don’t bleed on the person sent to bless you.

4. Can you break down the “new blueprint” you describe in UpDate? How is it different from traditional Christian dating advice?

Traditional advice says, “Don’t have sex and wait on the Lord.” That’s diet guidance. UpDate goes deeper into the “why”. It’s teaches you how to discern, how to detox your soul, how to spot a counterfeit. It’s theology meets therapy meets real talk.

5. The book is Volume 1—what can readers expect in future volumes?

UpDate is just the warm-up. Think of Volume 1 as “Before the talking stage.” This series will literally grow with your love life.

FAITH & HEALING

6. What are some signs someone may not be ready for a covenant relationship—even if they desire one?

If rejection still feels like abandonment, if you think boundaries are punishment, or if your identity shifts depending on who you’re dating you’re not ready. Desire without discipline leads to destruction.

7. How can readers begin doing the inner work needed before dating seriously?

Get curious about your patterns. Ask: “Why do I choose who I choose?” Therapy, prayer, journaling, mentorship and yes, fasting from situationships are tools to help you meet the healed version of yourself.

DATING IN TODAY’S CULTURE

8. In a world dominated by hookup culture and dating apps, how can Christians stay grounded?

By treating their swipe finger like it’s anointed. Use wisdom, not just vibes. You can engage with modern tools, but don’t let them become idols. Don’t be so thirsty for a match that you ignore misalignment.

9. How do faith-based individuals balance discernment with desire?

Desire isn’t the problem undisciplined desire is. Balance starts with inviting God into your preferences. Ask: “Is this person feeding my spirit or just my fantasy?” Don’t confuse chemistry with covenant.

PRACTICAL WISDOM

10. What are three things a person can start doing today to begin the journey of becoming the one?

1. Audit your triggers, not just your type.

2. Learn to sit with discomfort without self-sabotaging.

3. Fall in love with the process of evolving and becoming better for your forever person.

11. What role does community or mentorship play in preparing for love and covenant?

Huge. You need people who love you enough to challenge you. If you don’t have a spiritual mirror, you’ll keep choosing reflections of your dysfunction. Wise community EXPOSES your blind spots and confirms when it’s real…

ENTERTAINMENT INSIGHT

12. What harmful relationship narratives in entertainment are most influential—and how can we unlearn them?

Toxic passion = love. Struggle love = loyalty. And “If it’s not chaotic, it’s boring.” We unlearn them by redefining love as peace, not adrenaline. UpDate teaches that God’s best won’t confuse you—He’ll confirm it.

CLOSING & NEXT STEPS

13. If someone feels convicted but overwhelmed after reading UpDate, what’s the first step you recommend?

Breathe. Then start with the journal prompts. Don’t rush transformation romantic healing isn’t a sprint, it’s kinda like recovery after being cut in surgery. And God isn’t trying to shame you because he IS LOVE  . He’s simply trying to prepare you.

14. What’s next for you?

The UpDate IRL Tour is on the road. We’re bringing the conversations to cities like Atlanta, LA, Houston, and more live discussions, special guests, and yes, book signings. I’m also developing some really cool things I can’t speak on as of yet. But just know that this isn’t a moment, it’s a movement!

15. How can people stay connected with you and follow your work?

Follow me on Instagram @latiaashley and visit www.theupdatebook.com for updates, merch, and upcoming events