The Bonnet Saga: Why Is My Crown Always a Conversation?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

Before I was even brought into this world, it was already a conversation between our mothers, our aunties, our sisters, and their girlfriends. "Ooh, child... I just hope the baby has good hair." Why?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

From being told my hair was "unruly" and "nappy," that all I needed was a perm to work out the kinks so it could flow and become "more manageable." Why?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

From being told my braids are "too ghetto," my curl pattern is "too tight," or my Afro "just won't do" if I want to make it in the workplace and "look professional." Why?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

When my ancestors were forced to cover their heads, hiding their beautiful, lush hair and carrying shame that was never theirs to bear. Why?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

When I decide to take back my pride and wrap my hair in whatever fabric makes me feel like royalty. Why?

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

Because I choose to wear my scarf. My bonnet.

To run an errand.

To catch a flight.

To take a nap.

Or simply because it's my preference.

Baby, are you paying for my hair appointments? My products? My upkeep?

I didn't think so.

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

Because mentally, I'm exhausted.

I'm stressed.

And combing my hair just wasn't the priority that day.

I did the best I could to make it through.

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion?

When the people I'm supposedly trying to impress can't see past the color of my skin anyway.

Whether I'm wearing a bonnet...

Or the latest fashion straight off a Paris runway...

To some, I'll still be seen as a threat.

So tell me...

Why is my crown always the topic of discussion...

When you could simply mind your business?

My crown is not an invitation for your opinion.

It is not up for debate.

It is not your standard to define.

It is my heritage.

My identity.

My expression.

My choice.

And whether it's braided, twisted, natural, wrapped, relaxed, loc'd, covered, or free...

It is still a crown.

So stop discussing it...

And start respecting it.