What About Your Friends? When Loyalty Meets Accountability

“Two peas in a pod,” “cut from the same cloth,” “birds of a feather flock together,” and “you are the company you keep” are just a few of the idioms we use when admiring the qualities of a friend group or side-eyeing the questionable actions of one.

As a teenager, I had a friend who was a little more promiscuous than the rest of us. There were whispers that if she was getting down, then maybe the whole crew was too. But in the words of Monica, “I don’t get down on the first night,” and those guys were quickly curved. Honestly, those perceptions never bothered me because I knew who I was.

But as I’ve lived more life, had children, and worked in different industries, my mindset has matured tremendously. Now, the company I keep is definitely a reflection of me. My friends’ values should mostly align with what I believe and how I choose to conduct myself. Don’t get me wrong I’m not an uptight square, but there has to be a baseline. You can’t shout “All Lives Matter,” while I’m advocating for Black Lives Matter.

Now, during your teen years, friendships were mostly about vibing, trying to fit in where you got in, and not worrying about how things might look if certain people found out. As we transition into adulthood, that freedom shifts. Adulthood comes with responsibility it comes with figuring out who and what aligns with you, your business, your brand, and most importantly, your core values. But is there ever a time when you separate your beliefs and integrity for the sake of a relationship or a working partnership especially when having that person around can sometimes be the difference between getting paid and not getting paid?

Recently, one-third of the Grammy Award winning girl group TLC, Rozonda Thomas better known as Chilli was exposed for allegedly supporting the Trump administration. This all surfaced as she prepares to tour with fellow group member Tionne Watkins, alongside Salt-N-Pepa and En Vogue.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

It was discovered that Chilli had reportedly donated to organizations associated with Trump, followed extreme conservative figures, and allegedly reposted content accusing former First Lady Michelle Obama of being born male. As internet detectives continued digging and building their case, Chilli addressed the allegations head-on via Instagram Live.

She explained that the repost involving Michelle Obama was accidental, stating she isn’t tech-savvy. She also shared that she believed her donations were going toward causes she deeply cares about veterans and the trafficking of children and admitted it was a lesson in reading the fine print. Following the live, Chilli released a statement saying, “I want to be clear: I’m not MAGA and do not support any of the many policies that are causing great harm to the American people.”

Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images

Even with the apology, many fans didn’t believe Chilli was being genuine and continued to dig, uncovering clips of her saying “All Lives Matter,” along with another clip of her bandmate suggesting she does support Trump. As of now, T-Boz has not publicly commented on the situation, but Cheryl James came to Chilli’s defense, saying, “Chilli, please keep your pretty head all the way up… even when you’re straightening it out, haters will always hate.”

So let’s revisit “birds of a feather flock together” this time through the lens of adulthood, where values, standards, and non-negotiable beliefs carry real weight. We’re living in an America where rights are being challenged, women are dying because they’re forced to carry pregnancies, some are being arrested for making decisions about their own bodies, families are being torn apart and harassed because of how they look, and people are struggling to afford basic necessities like medication and food.

So the question becomes: is it enough to simply “agree to disagree” and allow your friends to believe and support whatever they want? Or does it take courage real courage to distance yourself from someone you may love in order to stand firmly on your morals?

Accountability is the magic word. And while Chilli isn’t the first or last artist to have their political views brought to light, it raises an ongoing debate: do we separate the artist from their art, or do we show them that there’s a line that can’t be crossed?

So… will y’all still be attending the "It’s Iconic" Tour?